Where it began, Where it ends?

On A Negative Note

What makes what you feel “anxiety” or “depression”?

how does your doctor be able to put a label on your feelings?

what if you said too much? what if you said too little?

will their diagnosis change? will they send you home with a new medicine or the same prescription? 

Who was the person who “defined” anxiety or depression?

was it also a doctor? a researcher?

were they suffering from anxiety? perhaps slightly depressed?

or were they “told” how it would feel? 

because you see, people dealing with anxiety and depression or whatever overwhelming feeling that take control of their body, do not share necessarily the same feelings, it is not the same for everyone .. it is not easy and there is no word to describe what goes inside of you! 

they are not “demons” as some may say.. they are not “negativity” or not being “busy enough”.. and “exercising” will not always work for everyone.. “finding a hobby”? sure but what then?  it will not stop you from feeling.. 


was it your childhood? was it too many changes at once? new life new home new job? or is it too much at once? stress at work? at home? everywhere? because the world is one politician’s toy? or you have had a trauma and you don’t even know it.. because when we really know what is happening.. is it when people notice? or when we struggle to breath over one very trivial thought that sets fire to everything inside you? 


when will we seek help? when it affects the people around us? shivering at the thought that it could be contagious? I mean “this”. I would not wish on my worst enemy ..


and when it gets better.. when you feel better.. you feel this shadow overlooking you waiting for the slightest slip to storm you again into terror and uncertainty.. 


BUT 

After all, it all in god’s plan. right? we just gotta push through.. we gotta “trust” and wait it out because it will go away .. seek help my friend when you can not control it.. be vocal of what you feel and never held back .. help those who suffer like you .. leave a good influence behind you .. 

doubts and disappears are normal but make sure to share them then shake them and get up..

Because all of this, like all of it, is “not here to stay”.. 


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