How To Start A Conversation With A Girl

Almost every interaction with a woman – no matter if it’s a one night stand, a friendship or even something more “serious” – started with a guy who approached and started a conversation.

You simply can’t meet new women if you don’t approach and initiate a conversation. You can sometimes meet a girl inside your social circle, and in such cases the approach will be easier.

But if you want to have full control over your life and really choose the women you want to be with, you need to approach women who you totally don’t know.

You need to start a conversation with girls that you see on the street, at the supermarket, during your work, and of course in bars and night clubs. You can even pick them up at your gym.

In order to start a conversation with a girl you don’t know, I am totally against what is called “pick-up lines” – those creepy and weird lines that some men think are fun.

Instead, we use conversation openers, which are various methods and techniques to open a conversation.

Some men make their openers an issue of almost copywriting and marketing, but there are many simply ways to open conversations as well.

In this post we’ll discuss the most successful and practical ways to start a conversation with a girl. These methods were developed mainly by PUA’s – Pickup artists.

Opinion Openers

Opinion Openers Links to an external site. are preferred by many dating coaches and pickup artists, not really because they are very successful, but because they are easy to use for students.

Many men have a terrible and frustrating fear of approaching women. Now, this fear is extremely strong when they think of picking up a girl. If a man sees an attractive girl and he is considering to approach her, his mind immediately creates this fear (there are many biological reasons for that, by the way).

So, opinion openers are not only a good way to start a conversation – they are also a method to get rid of your natural fears by not really “picking up”.

When you approach using an opinion opener, you actually tell a girl some story about yourself or your friends, and then you ask her opinion about this issue. The more interesting and juicy the story – the higher will be her interest in it.

Here is a classic example of an opinion opener:

“Hi girls, I just need your female opinion on something. My friend and I, we have an argument. He’s dating this girl, and they already were on a third date. Now, on the first date he paid for her, but she didn’t even suggest to pay on the second and third dates. Do you think it’s OK for a girl to not pay at all?”


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Women always have much to say about such issues, so the recommended topic of opinion openers is in fact – dating and relationship.

Do you want to use opinion openers – simply have some good juicy stories like the one I gave you (you can make it up J), find a question you can ask women – and bingo. You have your own great opener.

Because you are not really “picking up”, almost every woman (or group of women) will happily talk with you.

Comment Openers

What do most men do when they approach? They either use some strange pickup line, or they come and tell the girl how they like her and want her.

Comment openers are actually very quick openers. You hardly say anything; you just make a quick comment about something. You don’t really need to approach – just say it from the side.

The comment can be positive, negative or neutral. My experience shows that negative comments are very successful – because every woman feels she needs to react, and bang – a conversation starts.

Negative comments aren’t insults, just slight negging. Examples: “Your shoes don’t fit your dress”, “Why aren’t you wearing a watch?”, “Stop dancing so much”, etc.

Another type of comments that works are “provocative” comments. Here you will need some copywriting.

Here are some good ones that I use: “The girls here are so ugly”, “The guys here are so ugly” (women love it!), “I wish I was gay”, “Can I pickup your friend?”.

Comments are good ways to open, because you don’t make too much effort. You don’t even have to really approach, just stand near a girl and use it. If she rejects you, you hardly feel anything, so it’s also good against the fear of approach.

Direct-Indirect Openers

I use this kind of openers very often. The idea is to show both interest and disinterest at the same time.

This drives women crazy and makes them very interested and attracted.

Let’s get to the point: “Hi, I think you are cute, although you are not really my type”, “You really know how to match clothes – I love how your dress. But you’re a bad dancer”.

Why is it good? Women love to feel that the guy likes them but they still need to work hard to get him.

These openers show some interest, but also some disinterest. So they work great.